Publications and Media Mentions

5 Signs You May Need Couples Counseling

As a couples counsellor, in everyday conversations, people often ask me if I think they need counselling to resolve something that is going on in their relationship. There seems to be a belief that counselling is something that couples do when they’ve reached an impasse, or when things have gone wrong for so long that one person says they want out. Unfortunately, when things have gone that far, it is difficult to repair the relationship. So, don’t wait until it gets to that point.

What Makes a Relationship Work?

As a couples counselor, I have the unique and rewarding experience of helping people strengthen and improve their relationships. This experience has allowed me to witness firsthand the common traits of healthy, happy partnerships.

Those traits may not be what you think. When people are struggling with their relationships, they often believe they have to resolve all of their problems, learn complex communication strategies, or understand what is behind their partner’s negative behaviors. That’s simply not the case. Most relationships can be improved with a few simple strategies anyone can implement: love, gratitude, and respect.

Are Unmet Expectations Causing Your Relationship Issues?

People who come to couples counseling often want to know: What is the most common problem couples experience? Some assume it is either financial disagreements or sexual issues, but while those are indeed common struggles in relationships, they are typically symptoms of a more significant, underlying issue. Others hypothesize the primary cause of failed relationships is frequent fighting. That’s not generally true, either.

The one thing that most often ruins relationships? A pattern of unmet expectations.

3 Keys to a Healthy Relationship

As many of you have discovered through your own experiences, there are many factors which must be incorporated into your interactions in order to have a healthy relationship. Our connections can suffer if we are unaware or inattentive to these essential relationship qualities.

The Self-Care Dilemma

Are you meeting your self-care needs? Most of us have trouble meeting our own needs and making self-care a priority. We walk through our lives feeling tired, stressed, frustrated, unfulfilled, and even resentful. Yet, we don’t stop and think about how to change these feelings. We put everything ahead of ourselves and hope that something external will change. We may try to convince ourselves that we are the only person suffering from our lack of self-care, but it affects everyone in our lives. Your intimate relationship is often the thing that suffers most when you don’t make your self-care a priority. How can you contribute to a relationship when you are already feeling empty?

15 Signs Your Partner Is Marriage Material

“Pay attention to how they fight with you and other people,” suggests Sarah E. Clark, a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and founder of Idealationship.

When your S.O. has a bad day, who do they talk about it with? “Make sure your partner turns towards you in times of stress or crisis,” says Clark. If they do, that means they’ll be better-equipped to weather storms with you in marriage. “People either turn toward one another or turn away when they are upset. You should both be developing a pattern of looking for support from the relationship and each other,” she says.

How to Laugh More With Your Partner

Playing sports, frolicking in the snow, and other childlike activities tend to bring out laughter, therapist Sarah E. Clark, LMFT, LMHC, CVRT tells Bustle. So for your next date, try going somewhere you enjoyed as a kid, like the zoo or water park.