Are you Growing Together or Growing Apart?

All people grow, change, & evolve throughout their lives; it’s inevitable. Each experience we have can shape who we are as people. How our experiences shape us is up to us though. 

When talking about long- term relationships, it’s a near certainty that the people we are at the beginning of a relationship are not the same as who we are years or decades later. It’s a choice whether we grow together or grow apart. If you consciously choose to work at growing together, you can ensure that you don’t wake up one morning unsure who the person is next to you. 

One of the most important things a couple can do to help grow together is to talk and check- in with each other frequently. Discuss not only what is going on in your lives, but how those things impact you. Take time to make sure you know what’s most important to one another at any given moment. These frequent conversations build a connection that will keep your {foundation strong.}{ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-makes-relationship-work-love-gratitude-respect-021317}

Trying new things together is also a key component. New experiences can have a significant impact on people, both positive and negative. If you make the time to try new experiences together, it provides a different type of interaction that can strengthen a relationship. The opportunity to share how the experience impacted you both afterward can also be as beneficial as the experience itself. 

Since there needs to be a balance, it is equally important for each person within the relationship to have their own interests/hobbies. Healthy relationships have a good balance between independence and togetherness. The difference between whether you let your individual interests bring you closer together or farther apart is how a couple supports each other. If you support your partner’s individual interests, those things can bring you closer together. This means helping them make time for their hobby, discussing what’s important to them, providing emotional support when something is going well or poorly. Demonstrate that you care and will be involved/interested to whatever degree is beneficial to them. 

It’s pretty simple. Choose to grow together. Make that your intention, and then consciously choose what you do and how you do it with your intention for closeness in mind.